Monday, November 09, 2009

I attempt to invent a joke

Don't hate me, I'm just trying it out...

Frodo Baggins is chatting with Treebeard. He says, "You know, I've always wondered. You ents are basically walking trees, right? I'm just curious, do you, ah... bear fruit?"

Treebeard responds, "Yes, actually, we do sprout fruit seasonally. In fact, I've got a sample right here."

Frodo takes the fruit, which looks very much like an apple, and says "Wow. Is it edible?" Treebeard assures him that it is, so Frodo talks a big bite. "Wow!" he cries. "This is the best thing I've ever eaten! Why, if I could take some of this back to the Shire, I could make a fortune!"

Treebeard says, "Well, we ents have no use for the fruit, so we just toss the stuff on a communal pile after it's ripe. You're welcome to take as much as you like."

Excited, Frodo grabs up an armload and hauls it back to his hovel. For days he tests out various concoctions to maximize the flavor, until he finally settles on a blend of juice mixed with special hobbit spices that tastes fantastic.

He rushes out to find somebody to test it on, and runs into Aragorn. "Hey!" he cries. "You have to try this stuff!" Aragorn takes a tentative sip. "That's not bad," he says thoughtfully. "What is it?"

Frodo says enthusiastically "It comes from the fruit of ents! I haven't settled on a price yet, but if you offer me something of value, I could give you a whole jug right now!"

Hearing that, Aragorn whips out his sword and points it directly at Frodo's throat. "Sorry Frodo, but I'm going to have to place you under arrest."

"What? Arrest?" says Frodo, surprised and frightened. "Whatever for???"

Aragorn replies... "For ent cider trading."

End note: In the interest of full disclosure, you can blame Kingdom of Loathing for the punchline. I just thought it needed a longer setup.


  1. It is a pity for Frodo that Aragorn did not deliver his line using rhythm and rhyme and an "Amen Break" back-beat ... charges would be dismissed on grounds of Ent-rap-ment.

  2. I am not ent-ertained. Perhaps you should leaf the puns to the experts, because you are barking up the wrong tree if you think inv-ent-ing jokes is a worthwhile task.

  3. Anonymous12:30 AM

    Puns are their own rewords.

  4. OHHH!!!! I get it! it is funny! I like it! Go puns!!!! It only took me 2 visits and like 20 minutes to figure it out!

  5. Well, at least Frodo didn't try to tie down the ent with ropes to get the fruit. That would have been ent-ropy....


    That's all I've got.

  6. Anonymous9:32 AM

    Well, I lol'd. Almost makes me want to go play KoL again.


  7. If the gov takes Treebeard for the better good and devolpment of the community would that be emin-ENT domain?

  8. Anonymous2:37 PM

    Am I the only sick mind that thought about the human equivalent of a tree's fruit/seed?

  9. Ray Z4:58 PM

    Although a bit cheesy, I love this type of humorous b-ent on LOTR. Well done, Kazim!

    And yes, Anonymous, I was reminded of Genesis chapter 38, too.

  10. I thought that it was gonna be a poop joke. That the ent fruit was really their poop. Nice pun however...